New Leading...

I know it's been awhile since I wrote in here. I've gotten distracted with so many things. The bad thing is that most of them were not God-related and really didn't benefit me at all. I've tried all sorts of different money-making schemes and it really comes down to, don't bother with any of them - except maybe Yuwie ( social community ) and that's not a 'get rich quick' scheme at all, but it is fun.

Let me go back in time and start with a little history of who I am and where I've been.

I was born the 7th child to my mother and the 8th child to my father. My mother had been married before my dad and she had 2 other daughters and 4 sons. My father had been married twice before and I had 6 sisters from those unions, the one son he had had was still born. I was not planned , by my parents, and was quite a shock as my mom was 42 and my dad, 50. They may not have expected me, but God did.

They were great parents, and according to my siblings, completely different with me than with any of them. I guess that's what they mean about the baby being spoiled :)~

I started school in a Fundementalist Baptist Church and School. I attended "Faith Baptist" from Kindergarden until the middle of 7th grade. I also attended the church and Sunday school. My parents, especially my dad, were not religious people. I don't ever remember my dad even stepping foot on the church and school property, and it was a rariety for my mom to do so. But I know that my mother loved God, and I believe she was saved, and so did my pastor. My dad, however, as long as he meant it when I begged him to ask Jesus into his heart and he finally agreed, then I know that I'll see him again one day!

Although my roots were pretty solid in the faith, I ran from this at an early age. My dad had passed when I was 8 years old and my mom went home when I was 12. I rebelled. I began to drink, smoke cigarettes, smoke weed, have sex, party, you name it. I wanted to run as far away from God as I possibly could. He wouldn't let me though.

After my sister decided that I was too much to handle ( and she was the only one that I knew where she was and was able to take me in ) I went to live with a friend from Faith Baptist. Those next 5 years were horrible! The emotional abuse that I endured pushed me even further away from God because these people were pure hypocrites, but while being hypocrites, I was still made to go to church, so even though I hated it, His Word was still getting through. And I even enjoyed one church that I went to. I was engaged to a future youth minister ( I messed that relationship up! ) and I began my own Bible study at school ( now a public school )

I was 17 and finally out on my own when I left the church ( we had now switched churches too ) and vowed to never come back. Again, this was due to the hypocracy of the church in general, and my very bad experiances with it. And I held true to this declaration for many years. I became involved in Wicca, which is a pagan religion that I really thought was ok. I had long since told God that I didn't want to run from Him, but His church. I figured that as long as I didn't deny God, then being wiccan was okay.

I had rationalized this and justified this over and over in my mind. I basically rationalized my way through wicca for more than 10 years.

**During those horrible 5 years of teenage-hood, I had made bestfriends with the girl next door and her parents became like my own parents. I got to go on family vacations with them and really felt like I belonged. ( I believe God had made sure of this ) And during that time, I also lost touch with most of the biological family I had - it didn't help that my brothers were famous for thier drinking, drugs and lies. So now, when I refer to my 'mom' or my 'dad', I am speaking of the adoptive parents who got me through adolesence.**

My mom never gave up on me. She had long since re-found the Lord and began her walk with Him, and she continued to try and talk to me about what I was doing and where I was headed. Eventually she got me into church and the rest, as they say, is history. Or is it?

My walk has never been easy, or quick. I had no idea what I was doing, I was lost and I was hungry. Having been raised Fundamental Baptist, I was in shock when I saw people dancing, shouting, lifting hands and praising. What were these nutballs doing and why was I still here?? I often watched or listened wide-eyed as I compared some of the things I saw and heard with things I learned on my pagan walk. Over time I learned how God was the source of these things and they had been twisted into what I had known. I began to learn a lot about the Lord and I began to walk closer with Him, but I was still very much dependant on others ( namely my mom ) to help me stay on track.

I fell off "track" more times than I can count. I went back to the flesh and the world so many times! But do you know what the wonderful thing is?? God forgave me and took me back EVERY TIME!!! He is more loving and gracious than the best parent that you can think of. He is more faithful than even the sun, even when we aren't. He is ALWAYS there, it is not He who gets lost, but us. All we have to do is reach out to Him, call to Him and He will answer us, and bring us home. Isn't that wonderful???

Anyhow, there's quite a bit that I'm leaving out, but you get the jest. Amazing Grace - how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! I am now listening, watching and waiting upon the Lord. I want to continue to share my hopes, dreams, inspired insights, and God's plans with my life, right here in my journal. I do hope that you come back and see what unfolds! You can also find me through Yuwie.com, check it out , and if you join under me, please be sure to also join my club : Prayer Chain.
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Working for the good

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called accroding to his purpose." ( Romans 8:28 )

First of all, I would like us to look at the part, " who have been called according to His purpose." Many people may first think of what the Lord would have them do, what THIER purpose is, but is that what this says? In many places throughout the Bible, we hear about God's purpose. God has a purpose on this earth: to have his creation believe in Him and join Him in heaven. He wants His Word to be spread, for more and more believers to be born again. His purpose to see us in His Heavenly Kingdom. So, does that mean that we shouldn't do what we think God has called us to do? Does that mean that we should ONLY focus on His purpose? Well, actually - Yes. If we are called according to His purpose in spreading His Word and bringing lost souls unto Him, then we must use the our purpose towards that. What's the difference you ask? We have each been gifted with different things. Some people may feel that they are called to minister on the street, feed the homeless and cloth the poor. Some may be more led to become a youth pastor. Some may feel they belong in a Prison Ministry. Another may be a public school teacher, and another may be led to be a waitress. Not all of these callings are glamorous, but they are all ordained by God. He knows what our strengths and our weaknesses are and He wants us to use them for His Glory and His Kingdom. We must use our purpose to fulfill HIS purpose. If this is not clear enough, please feel free to leave a comment or email me, and I will be happy to talk further with you.

Now for the next part of this verse that I want to speak on. " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him." How many know that the "good" may not always be the "want"? Another very important point.... "of those who love Him" God is a loving God and Father. He loves us unconditionally, but do we love Him? He is not going to work things for good for someone who does not love and follow Him. But for His children, He will move mountains. We may think that we need a new car, or a new job, or what have you, but that may not be God's plan and it may not be what's best for you. You can pray and pray for that new car, but if God knows that this would not be best, he will not give it. If you are in a situation, God knows the way out. When you don't know what to do, or even when you think that you do, pray it through. I say this because again, He knows whats best. If you want a new job, ask Him to show you if it's His will. If it IS His will, ask Him to lead you.

God has our own good in His heart. He wants only whats best for His children, much like an earthly father. He will not lead us astray, He will not lead us down the wrong path. Even when you have hit a bump in the road after praying on a situation and you know that you only moved in the direction that He said, this is for a reason. He continues to raise us, to strengthen us, to encourage us and to love us. If we would just trust in Him, the way He asks, we could be lifted atop the world!

Life's ups and downs

I write this hoping that I can at least bring some hope to someone. I am not a pastor, I am not a theologian and I hold no form of doctorate or degree. I am simply one of God's own who wish to spread His Good News and help others. Today I wish to talk about life, and our response to it.

It's easy to praise God and smile when things are going our way, would'nt you say? Of course. When the traffic lights are all green when you're running late, when you forgot to take something out for dinner only to come home and find a gift card to Outback that you forgot about, etc. These are the times that it's easy to praise God ( or at least say ' Thank God! ) but what about when those lights are red? Or when your boss is breathing down your neck to complete a project that you're struggling with? Maybe the finances are too tight, or it seems that one thing after another is happening. These are the times when it's most important for us to praise Him! It's definitely harder to do so, but it's very important!

I can speak from personal experiance when I say that it's a life changing experiance to praise Him in the storm. When things around me seem like they are falling apart. When I think that everyone has forgotten me, when I think that financially I'm sinking and there's no life vest... Just to change that thought process and start thanking my Heavenly Father for the blessings that He bestows on me, changes it all. I'm not saying that if you say thank You that all your problems will disappear. Saying Thank You does, however, make you aware of what you have. Just like a parent on earth, our Heavenly Father likes to be appreciated too, and sometimes He may give us a break when we show true appreciation.

When I think about how our relationship with God parallels our relationship with our children, it is amazing! I have 3 of the most wonderful kids ever born. I truly believe them to be gifts from God that He has intrusted me with until He returns. There are times that they make me want to pull my hair out, of course, but I am so very thankful for them. That wasn't my point, however. My point is this.... those children can take things and people for granted, very easily. I often feel like they could care less and I'm always telling myself how I should just stop doing stuff for them until they learn to appreciate me and what I do for them. Of course, I then turn around and fold thier laundry or something . When they do say thank you and / or show true appreciation, it blows me away! I will then do just about anything for them. To know that they love me and are thankful for me and what I do, well, it's a most wonderful feeling! Now think of this with God.

The Lord giveth...and giveth...and giveth.... Are we doing all we can to not just take, take, take? How it must break His heart to look down at His most loved creation ( mankind ) and see such hatred, death, destruction, jealously, greed, dishonesty, lust, etc. And how it must delight Him when He see's one turn away from this. How it must fill His heart with joy when one looks up towards the sky and truly thanks Him for His goodness. How it must feel to know true appreciation. How He must feel when He knows He has truly captured our heart. How about your heart? Has God truly captured your heart? I'm not talking about asking Jesus to come into your heart, though that is the first step. I'm talking about truly letting Him have control. Are you letting God make His changes within you? Are you showing the Lord your greatfulness? Are you greatful for your blessings?

It doesn't matter how small or big a blessing is, it's still a blessing! The smallest one's are the ones we overlook the most, but should be most thankful for. You may really dislike your boss, or maybe co-workers, but are you thankful that you have a job when so many people are unemployeed, and not by choice? Your car may be rusting and creaks as you drive down the street, but have you thanked God that you aren't walking? Or maybe you ARE walking, could you imagine being in a wheelchair? Maybe you are in a wheelchair, then thank God that you have the strength to sit up in it. I could go on and on and on. There is ALWAYS something to be thankful for, and if we will just open our eyes and hearts to His Goodness, He is sure to pour more of His blessings upon us.

Lord, I pray that each person reading this would know Your love. I pray that they would know Your sacrifice. I pray, Father that You would bless them according to your will and that all that they touch would prosper. I pray dear, Lord, that you would fill every void in thier life, that you, Abba, would heal thier hurts and fill thier needs. I pary that your Holy Spirit fill thier lives, and that You would lead them in all that they do. Father, I thank you so much for your blessings. For each person reading this right now, for each of my children, my husband, my family, my home, my car, my job and each thing that I may not even notice everyday. I pray , Father, that you would make these small blessings known to us, that we may praise your glorious Name. And now Father, I thank you for your Son and I pray that Your grace and mercy be with each of us as we go on our way, with You forever by our side. In You Son's precious, holy name I pray. Amen.